Monday, December 28, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/28/09

"Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language."

-Walt Disney

Chitter Chatter

Cha Cha Cha...If I could giggle I would! Don't tell "The Tank" I was playing with his camera.


Friday, December 25, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/25/09

"Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'."

-Bing Crosby

A Christmas Tail

As the leader of "The Family" I command all members to go forth and bring Christmas cheer to all!

Ugh...not yet, just a few more hours of sleep. Afterall, I've been spreading Christmas fear all night...I mean Christmas jeer, I mean cheer, I've been spreading Christmas cheer all night long! What did you say? A  Christmas gift just for me!

Get down from there now! "The Tank" says get down!

The bearer of gifts is indeed a good soul.

Sweet Gracie, "The Tank" gave us a Wii!

Wait a minute, Tina's working, were all here, but where's Anne?

Don't worry "Tank" I'm back at the snuggery getting snuckered, the in-laws are here! Merry Christmas!

What kind of ornament is that in the tree, or is that...."The Tail"!

Yea, yea, "...and to all a good night."

Benny "The Tank"

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/20/09

"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."

-David Hasselhoff

The Hoff And His Little Friend

Ah, Christmas time, a time to take a break from mysterious tails, aggressive uncles, crazy Italians...uh, maybe that's a different holiday. I must say I am a proud recipient of a new gift! While attending Tina's Sexy Santa Party, I was fortunate enough to meet a man by the name of James Taylor. Yea, that’s right, you heard me, and he was nice enough to give this precious Christmas gift to me. This is a picture of my two most favorite actors, David Hasselhoff, and the one and only Gary Coleman. Come on, I know you all want to say it, so lets just say it together, "What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis? ..." Gosh, I love this country! It is also rumored that the producers of Knight Rider had to put peanut butter in the roof of David Hasselhoff's mouth to make him talk! T.V. magic is so AAAAAmazing! Good night, and God bless, I hope the Christmas spirit finds you as quick as it has found me.

Benny "The Tank"

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/15/09

“Life is trying things to see if they work."

-Ray Bradbury quote

Tap, Taps...

What goes tap, tap on the glass window, well the "The Tail" of course. The very, very creepy tree continues to be right as we barely catch glimpse of the "The Tail" in the bush. It might be time to pay "Big M" a visit, this tail is starting to bother me.

Benny "The Tank"

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/13/09

"When you look at the crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you then. When you look at the Sacred Host, you understand how much Jesus loves you now."

-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Bark, Who Goes There?

It seems that the very, very creepy tree was right! We heard a tap, tap, on the glass window. When Mandy and I peak out to see what is there, we are surprised to see the...No, Not hot wings again Tina, doesn't the club cook anything else? What happened to taco night? Check back Wednesday morning to see who tap, taps!

Benny "The Tank"

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/08/09

"Jacob did not cease to be a Saint because he had to attend to his flocks."

-St. Teresa of Avila

A Very Creepy Tree

...And as I looked up from the talking branch, I began to hear the creepy, screeching tree speak words of wisdom.

"I have lost a limb to gain a friend. "The Tail" is among us all. It has a speed and stealth that all others lack, and worst of all no one is sure if it is even attached to a back. Let me draw the picture clear, the rocket you house under the moon, will soon bring you fear, while "The Tail" cheers within a stream of your tears. Be leary of all who pass, for you will know trouble, when you hear the tap on the glass."

Well, I have learned two things, some trees are very, very creepy and physic, and I now realize why everyone, humans included, pee on trees.

Benny "The Tank"

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Quote Of The Day 12/06/09

"Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg.”

-Hans Christian Andersen

Nature Calls

While working in the family business, I have seen and  experienced many strange things. However, the one thing stranger than a talking garden statue would have to be a talking branch. After digging up bones, chew bones of course, and burying them in another's what dogs do for fun of course, I heard a pitiful moan from afar. When I reached the cry, I was perplexed, and somewhat creeped out, to see a simple branch plea for forgiveness, but then I looked upward and...Well I got to go, Tina's here with the hot wings, check back Wednesday morning.

Benny "The Tank"

Monday, November 30, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/30/09

“While women weep, as they do now, I'll fight; while children go hungry, as they do now I'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I'll fight, I'll fight to the very end!”

-William Booth, English Spiritual leader, founder and general of the Salvation Army. 1829-1916

The Unload

Whew! That was one heavy unload, thank goodness we rented the humans for this job. I'm not sure Anne, but it looks like some type of rocket, or missle. Not sure what we'll do with it, guess Mr. Shadowcaster will let us know eventually. For right now we will just leave it in the backyard. What time are the humans due back?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/25/09

“When a thought takes one's breath away, a grammar lesson seems an impertinence.”

- Thomas W. Higginson

Mr. "Quotation"

I, Mr. " ", have been given the honor not only to introduce myself, but also the newest update on the heist, I mean charitable delivery. I have recently been seen, used, and often "misused", on a regular basis lately. I must say that I have enjoyed the newfound attention. Let's just say that "The Tank" made me an offer that I...okay, I’m off work now, so I refuse to finish that.... sentence? Enough about me, take a look, the truck is on it's way, what it will deliver; we can only dread. Also, to the other "marks" out there, a new era has come, the era of " ". I must leave, for tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I have many horrible pre-dinner speeches to claim!

Mr. " "

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/22/09

"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition."

-Rod Serling

Saint Of A Stone Heart

As Mandy and I patrolled the quarters on a cool, fall eve, we heard a faint voice, a tender whisper; could it be "The Orso Sign"? The whisper grew louder, loud enough that we both came to a halt, and listened to a stone statue.

Statue: Take heed my fellow animals, for a truck of a great value shall cross the two rivers, and enter into the heart of "The Family".

The Tank: I feel like I've met you before, or seen you soemwhere before...

Statue: I get that all the time, we all have twins I guess.

Mandy: I never knew statues could talk?

Statue: And I never knew dogs could talk, I resent that by the way, my stone heart bleeds just like...Anyways, listen carefully to these intructions, this is one valuable truck, and Mr. Shadowcaster will except nothing but perfection on this mission.

Mandy: Have you always been here?

Statue: Just as the stone and soil of the earth. Now listen, the truck will be carrying-

The Tank: Please not Charlee Bears!

Statue: Here, come in closer, you never know whose listening. Afterall, I am "The Orso Sign", your uncle is one weird bear. Anyways, the truck will be carrying...

Benny "The Tank"

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/19/09

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Crazy K

Disgruntled with waiting for "The Orso Sign", I decided it might be wise to visit Uncle Orso's good friend, and block mate, Mr. Kangaroo, of course he prefers "Crazy K".

The Tank: Crazy K, maybe you can tell me
what "The Orso Sign" is supposed to be?

Crazy K: You know your Uncle; it will be least what you expect,
but should most expect. Then the truck will arrive.

The Tank: Funny, thought you would have an accent.

Crazy K: Na, that's just a myth. Humans are so delusional, they acutally
believe a place called Australia really exist, come on Tank, I know you're
smarter than that.

The Tank: I don't know...I think you've been in for too long.

"The Orso Sign" will remain a mystery for now, as will Australia according to Crazy K.

Benny "The Tank"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/17/09

"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act."

-George Orwell

A Look Into The Sun

Continuing to look for the "Orso Sign", Anne gazes deep into the telescope, past the sun, and into the unknown.

And what does she see? The sign maybe....No, just another solar flare. But wait...

Has she discovered new life?

Oh no, not him again, we will have to revist that adventure later. But Oh, this must be it, look!

Okay, guess Mum was right, sometimes you just have too look the other way.

Anne, currently known as "The Astronomer"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/15/09

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
-Ernest Hemingway

A Silent Tail

As Anne and I bury an associate's...mess up, we remain vigilant, looking for the sign Uncle Orso promised we would soon see. In our one moment of repose, we hear a strange clamor through the woods.

By the time we turn around all we see is...tail? A strange, silent, faster than light tail, one in which we did not recgoinze. I do not have a good feeling about this.

Benny "The Tank"

Friday, November 13, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/13/09

“My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down -- but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.”

-Willie Nelson


After being inapprioately frisked, I was able to visit my Uncle Orso in the pen. Yea, I know, we don't exactly look alike, but uncles in Italian families take on various roles.

Uncle Orso: Tank! It’s been months, come over here and see your old uncle. Just cleaning off a little bit.

"The Tank": How's it been?

Uncle Orso: Not too bad, at dinnertime, all us old guys get together. Mr. Kangaroo chops the garlic, Possum Sam cooks the sausage, and I of course, make the sauce. Seems the guards have a soft spot for an eternal supply of Charlee Bears.

"The Tank": Wow! Just like in Good Fe-

Uncle Orso: Now flop your ears out, and listen up. The truck is delivering the goods soon-I mean delivering the charitable donations very soon, you will know when and where the truck is going to be when the time is here, trust me.

"The Tank": Last time you asked someone to trust you, a kangaroo and possum ended up in here!

Uncle Orso: For the family Tank, you always forget that very important fact, its all for the "Family Business". Go on now, my masseuse, Tina, will be here in thirty.

"The Tank": Fine, wait a minute did you say Ti-

Uncle Orso: Guard!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/10/09

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

-Rita Rudner

New Orders

Big M informed me that it has been much too long since I have paid my dear uncle a visit, and it seems that he may have a tip on a very lucrative truck, that just might be passing through my way. A truck full of charitable gifts of course.

"Go ahead and see your dear uncle, all that...that thing did for you, all those years. Listen to him carefully. Mr. Shadowcaster won't take kindly to another mix up. Hand me my eye cream and get out, the gals are comming over for gin and bingo."

So in the cold, wet rain, I leave to visit my uncle. I must say, I've never much liked his living arrangements.

Benny "The Tank"

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/08/09

"Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle."

-George S. Patton

Free Range

Reunited with our shadows we all enjoyed the beautiful day. As we basked in the warm sunlight, my shadow exclaimed how thankful he was to be free, and attached to his body once again. In fact, all the shadows proclaimed their freedom in the warm light, never wanting to loose it again, but I fear there are some shadows out there that will never realize how free they truly are. Guess some shadows have to be educated the hard way. However, there is one thing we must do to make the day perfect...Run! Run free, until our hearts tell us to stop. Luckily, once again the low quality doggie cam caught it all!

Benny "The Tank" and his Shadow

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/05/09

“Desolation is a file, and the endurance of darkness is preparation for great light.”

-St. John of the Cross quote

Presentation Of The Bag O' Shadows

Big M is granted permission to present me with the Bag O' Shadows. I quicky return home, and wait for Mr. Shadowcaster.

As I await his arrival, my shadow enters into a fiery rage, and attempts to reattach to my body. No matter how hard I fight, some of the shadow manages to attach. I fear Mr. Shadowcaster's reaction.

I watch Mr. Shadowcaster dreadfully descend down upon me, and as the other shadows sense his arrival, they too enter into a rage, and can only burn with vengance for his actions.

But behold, all is calm and well, for Mr. Shadowcaster surprises us all, and gently releases my shadow in its entirety, while giving me authority to release the others as well. The gesture is comforting, but I know that in darkness glimpses of light are rarely seen. I have seen a light in Mr. Shadowcaster, but I have also seen it dim. So carefull I will be, and precise in the steps my paws take.

Benny "The Tank"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/03/09

"I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it."

-Clint Eastwood

Monday, November 2, 2009

A Coversation With Mr. Shadowcaster

Many wonder where I am from, but few ever come to know the truth. I come from the darkest depths, the coldest planet, and some even say that I'm a shadow's shadow, and trust me, that is pretty darn dark. I have been judged harshly for imprisoning "The Tank's" and his associates' shadows, but we all maintain control in our own way. You must understand, it is not easy being a shadow. Growing up, I was often accused of skipping recess on dim days, and a shadow is never picked first for kickball. Even today my existence comes with its consequences. My wife always questions my whereabouts when she turns out the lights in the bedroom. She just doesn't get it. However, I stand before the light, and read the letter that Brown Dog left, and I am moved to believe that "The Family's" shadows must be returned. After all, forgiving and understanding is what family is all about, even for this dark, despicable, shadow, often called Mr. Shadowcaster.

Your darkest, dearest friend,
Mr. Shadowcaster

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Quote Of The Day 11/01/09

"I owe it all to little chocolate donuts."

-John Belushi

Halloween Party Pics

Even with our shadows absent, we still managed to have a smashing good time at our Halloween party! Enjoy a few pics.

Look closely and see how I see. He never knew that I was watching him the whole time! Now back to humming, because thats what pumpkins do, we hum.

Don't you dare come up here you little...

Gracie! How nice to see you, didn't even know you were here yet!


I told you once Gracie, Tina and I are through, she will not be here!
Man, I hope Tina has to dance overtime tonight......Anne, seriously! Tying us up to Mandy is not funny! Untie us right now!
Okay, I'm done, party's over, "The Tank" has had enough fun, till next year!

Ah, peace. Arguments, lack of shadows, despite it all, there's nothing like good friends to put things into perspective. I hope everyone had a happy and wonderfull Hallow's Eve.

Benny "The Tank"