Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The T.P. Czar

I enjoyed a peaceful evening with my favorite Comare last night, Miss Gracie. Isn't she just beautiful. I only had to look over my tail twice. Bottled water, Charlie Bears for an appetizer, and dog food topped with yogurt makes for the perfect meal! After grabbing a quick kiss, I sat in my favorite chair, lit my corn cob pipe, and began to read the Doggone Daily, and I was disturbed as I read about the newly appointed Czar. The article reads:

"The President appointed the honorable Sporco Culo as the Toilet Paper Czar. Mr. Sporco Culo will over see and restrict the use of all toilet paper that dogs across America waste. Each dog will only be allowed one square per successful walk. If presented with an upset stomach the Czar will give some slack. Mr. Culo quotes,

'If in need of more than one square I suggest use of a few household conveniences: the obvious carpet, a freshly cut lawn, your master's passenger seat, and if in complete desperation your masters pillow case.' Dogs across America are concerned with this new law. However, the President assures us that all will be fine.

'With these new restrictions much paper will be saved. Thus, improving the environment and halting global warming. I am thankful for your cooperation, and don't be afraid to share your square, God bless...What is that little piece of land called again?' "

Benny "The Tank"

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